Phases of the Moon
by Angels-above
Summary: Welcome to the sixth year of Hogwarts, in the marauders rein! Remus is struggling with the reality of being a werewolf. Sirius is worried about his friend, and has problems of his own. Can they help each other through it? I suck at summuries, but give it
1. Chapter 1

Authors note: Hi guys! This is not only my first RemusxSirius story, but my first Harry potter fanfic. Actually it's my first Fan fic like EVER! So please be nice, and lots of reviews would be lovely and I would love you forever! Okay so this is aslash story so please be warned! Don't like Slash, don't read okay? And no flamers thanks!

Story summary: welcome to the sixth year of Hogwarts, in the marauders rein! Remus is struggling with the reality of being a werewolf, and as further tragedies occur can he survive intact? Sirius is worried about his friend, and has problems of his own. Can they help each other through it? Rated a T to start with, may change!

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Harry potter, and though I may want a Sirius all of my own I can not have one! Remus Is not mine either! See you can't sue me! Hahahaha!

Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Remus's pov 

Remus sighed as he glanced out of the common room windows. There he could see the moon between the clouds, almost full. And when it was full…well he would change into a monster wouldn't he? He sighed and dragged his haze away from the terrifying beauty of the moon, and looked at his friends.

The Only people left in the common room now apart from him were his friends James, Peter and Sirius. James was talking about Lily as usual, while the others tried to listen, but it was one o'clock in the morning, and they has heard it all before; James and liked Lily since second year, and now 4 years later he_ still_ hadn't got over it.

"I mean you could do worse than me right?" James said glancing around at them hopefully, in the dieing glow of the fire

"Well, yeah you could, but she hasn't realised that has she?" Sirius drawled as his head leaned on Remus's shoulder. Sirius was a very contact-y person. He was almost always leaning on someone or had his arm around them, and Remus knew that most of the girls in the school would love to be him right now. Sirius was basically the hottest guy in school and half the girls (and some of the boys, if they admitted it) fancied him, and how could you not, Remus thought glancing down at his friend. Dark hair that always looked perfectly scruffy, dark grey eyes, surrounded by long lashes, and cheekbones to die for. Let alone the fact that he was 6'2 , strong, with some muscles, played beater of Gryffindor Quidditch team, and was down right funny and charming.

"Remmie, what do you think?" and Remus glanced up, and realised that they were all staring at him, and blushed slightly.

"I agree with Siri on this one. Though I reckon that she might go out with you, if you stop going around hexing all the first and second years. That might just help" James sighed and pushed a hand through his messy black hair.

"Yeah, but they are just so tiny…." He trailed off, and picked up another chocolate frog from the pile in the middle of the table, and tossed some to the others.

"Wait just a minute" Sirius said slightly alarmed "just cos James has to stop, do we have to as well? No more hexing Snape!" he looked up pleadingly at Remus "Remmie you can't mean that? Please can we keep hexing him? Pretty please?" he batted his eyes and pouted slightly. Remus felt his heart skip slightly. Must be the worry about the full moon, he thought confused slightly. He ruffled Sirius's hair slightly, and grinned.

"You would just carry on whether I asked or not, so why bother?" a brief look flickered over Sirius's face, but was replaced by the trade mark crooked grin, before Remus could understand what it meant.

"If you asked I would Remmie, but it would be so so hard. So Please don't" Remus nodded, then dragged his gaze away from Sirius and turned to regard the fourth member of their party.

"Bit quiet aren't you Wormtail?" peter glanced up from the parchment he had been frantically scribbling on, and his nail bitten fingers held the quill tightly.

"I just don't get it" he burst out; when they all raised their eyebrows questioningly he gestured to the parchment and book in front of him. As much as he was a sweet boy, he wasn't smart at the best of times, but when it came to things like transfiguration and potions he was abysmal. "You guys seem to get it immediately, without even trying and I struggle it just isn't fair" his rat like face screwed up a little, as if her was fighting tears. Remus felt Sirius tighten slightly; he hated over dramatic shows of emotion, he wasn't raised to them and they made him uncomfortable. But he took a deep breath and winked at peter.

"Oh Pete, we don't get it that easily, and you are better than at us in a lot of things but if…you know…you are _really _struggling…you can ask Remus!" Remus swatted the top of the other boys head as the James, Sirius and Pete laughed.

"Poor Remus!" James spluttered. But Remus just put a hurt expression on his face and looked at the them sadly

"Oh is that the only reason I am useful? To correct homework and figure stuff out from? Isn't that lovely, and here I was thinking you guys actually liked me, well I just am going to-"

"-What!" Sirius said loudly outraged "Remmie no way. I love you to pieces" again Remus felt his heart skip slightly, but ignored it "and so the others! What else would we do without our friendly werewolf?" he pulled back from Remus slightly, and hugged him.

"Yeah, we do appreciate you Moony "said James, smiling as he watched his two friends hug tightly.

"I'll be fine!" peter said, smiling weakly. Remus pulled away from Sirius and smiled down at Wormtail.

" don't be silly Pete, I wasn't serious" he gestured at the book next to peter, as James snuggled back down in the chair to write a letter to Lily, and Sirius snuggled closer to Remus's shoulder, his eyes closing as he dozed.

"Do you get it now?" a slow light dawned in Pete's small eyes as it finally became clear. Thank god! It was now 3 o'clock in the morning and he wanted to go upstairs and curl up in his covers and just fall asleep.

"Thanks Remus!" the younger boy said smiling happily, as he signed his name at the end of the essay. Remus just gave a small smile, and rubbed his eyes. James had had gone up an hour ago, giving up after the sixth attempt at writing a letter to lily (their remains lay in the fire), and Remus felt slightly sorry for him. He really liked Lily, had for a while, but lily just didn't seem interested. Okay, that was a major understatement, considering that the last time that James had asked lily out she had hexed him so badly that his nose had been purple for a week. She and Remus were close friends being the Gryffindor prefects though; perhaps he could have a word. After gathering up his supplies peter ran upstairs, leaving Remus to wake Sirius.

Sirius had fallen asleep in the sofa, leaning against the cushions. Remus regarded him smiling slightly. Sirius looked so sweet when he was asleep, his dark hair falling across his face, and a slight frown on his forehead as he dreamed. Remus didn't want to wake him up, but the others had scarpered so it looked like the job was left to him, and besides Sirius would be stiff if the morning if he slept down here. That would make him grumpy and a grumpy Sirius was not something anyone would want to handle, even Remus. He placed a gentle hand on the other boy's warm shoulder and shook it slightly. Sirius just groaned but didn't wake up. Remus knelt down next to the prone boy, and grasped his shoulder in a slightly firmer grip.

"Siri" he whispered softly "Padfoot?" Sirius's only response was to grab hold of Remus's hand and pull it closer. Then abruptly his grip got a lot tighter, and Remus winced, as Sirius tossed his head from side to side dreaming.

"REMUS!" he said, his eyes flying open, and there was genuine fear in his eyes. He was gasping, and his jet black hair was damp with sweat. His grey eyes flickered frantically around the room, before settling on Remus's face. He grabbed hold of Remus's shirt with his spare hand and dragged him toward him, sitting up in the process and held him tight. Remus returned the hug, holding the bigger boy close, and stroking his back, as he shivered, and was that…no it couldn't be…was he actually _crying! _Sirius _never_ cried Remus had never seen him shred a tear since first year. But he knew better than to ask just then and instead just held him closer, slowly stroking his back and his hair, as he made comforting noises. They sat there for a while, in the soft glowing light and heat of the fire, and just held each other. _This is so comfortable_ Remus thought drowsily. The feel of his warm arms was so nice, and right, he just wished that they could be like this more, and that he and Sirius both could let down their walls. Then gently, as if reluctant to move out of the warm embrace Sirius gently pulled away and leant back against the back of the sofa, and placed his head on his raised knees. Remus leaned back next to him, and looked over questioningly, not saying anything, knowing that Sirius would talk about it if he wanted to but if he didn't then pressuring wouldn't work.

"Sorry Moony" Sirius said, his voice slightly hoarse, and filled with an emotion that Remus couldn't quite place. "It was just a dream is all" he shuddered slightly, and then glanced over.

"You sure Siri?" Remus questioned uncertainly, "something more than just a dream isn't it?" Sirius's face went blank, and he broke eye contact, instead staring into the dying flames.

"It was just a dream Remmie all right?" he said firmly, then stood up rising fluidly, stretching slightly. He started up the stairs that lead to the dormitories, and then turned as if realising that Remus was still sat there, a hurt expression on his face. Sirius smiled, and sighed extravagantly as he came back over, and took hold of the smaller boy's shoulders firmly.

"If it was something to worry about, I would tell you okay Remus?" Remus nodded, even though he wasn't happy. He had thought that he and Sirius were friends, and weren't friends supposed to tell each other everything, and he couldn't pretend that he wasn't a little bit hurt. _I'll worry about it later_, he thought firmly, as he covered a yawn. Sirius saw it and smiled, slinging an arm around Remus's shoulders and leading him up the tower.

Later that night as he lay in bed however, Remus pondered what could be bad enough to make someone like Sirius cry. And why had he refused to tell him what it was? Probably, Remus pondered as he finally felt himself drifting into sleep, the most important question of all was why was it **_his _**name that Sirius had called out in terror?

_Well did you like it? It's the first I have ever written so please be nice, and review, I need to know what you think. See the button is just there you know you want to push it…go on….anyway thanks for reading and I hoped you liked it! I will _update _soon!_


	2. Chapter 2 unknown feelings

Authors note: Thanks so much for the reviews, I can't believe that I got reviews on my first chapter! Thanks so so much! Keep in mind I am one, new at this, so am learning, and two, doing exams at the moment so it may take me a little while to update! I will try though, so please keep reading and reviewing! Love ya!

Disclaimer: Sadly not J.K Rowling! And no much to my distress Sirius is not minesulk oh well! I am just a very humble fan!

Dedicated to: _PaddyWaddy, T.Felton, Lykaios Nyx,_ _alayone_ and _marium_, for reviewing! Thanks, I really mean it.

Chapter 2

Remus stirred reluctantly, and pulled the hangings back from his bed squinting at the bright light of the dawn sun. God he was shattered! He can't have been asleep all that long, and his eyes felt like they were full of grit. He rubbed his eyes taking out the sleepy dust, and glanced around the room.

All was normal as far as he could see. Four beds, there hangings in various degrees of disgrace, red and gold, Gryffindor colours. He had always wondered if the other houses hangings were different colours, but since he hadn't been in any of the other dormitories he wouldn't know. Sirius might though, due to the amount of time he was rumoured to be spending in them. There were cloths all over the floor, some in piles but most just chucked haphazardly everywhere. There was everything in there, from quills to the remains of Honeyduke's sweets (well so sue him, he liked chocolate okay?) and various Zonko tricks. He saw his favourite quill perched on top of the mirror, constantly changing colour, sometimes blue sometimes pink with orange spots. He had been wondering where that had got to, he speculated which marauder was responsible, but couldn't decide whether it was James or Sirius. The marauders were famous for their tricks and jokes, quite a lot of them on each other. Well at least it kept people entertained, and they had better be, due to the amount of time they had all spent in detention because of it. After the last bought of three months, he had started _dreaming _out cleaning bedpans!

Looking across to the other beds sleepily he saw that James and peter were still asleep, James's head hanging off the pillow, and peter murmuring something like "Don't let the socks eat me…" Remus shook his head smiling slightly. It could be hard living in a dormitory sometimes due to the total lack of privacy but at least it was amusing. He glanced to the bed next to him, and saw that Sirius's bed was empty. He frowned in confusion, _Where was he?_ He was the most unlikely of all of them to actually get up early. Making Sirius get up was not fun, he was quite a grouch in the morning. Just then the bathroom door was flung open, accompanied but a burst of steam, and Sirius walked out, his dark hair shinning and yet, and only wearing a towel. Remus let an involuntary gasp, when he saw Sirius's bare chest, glistening and shinning in the early morning golden light. He reminded him of the god Apollo. What was he thinking? Since when had he started comparing his friend's body to a god's? _I have had way to little sleep_, he thought, then realised that he was staring. He mentally shook himself._ What are you doing? He is your best friends!_ Sirius glanced over at Remus's bed, and seeing he was awake let a smile light his face

"Morning Remmie!" he said waving slightly, as he wondered over to his bed, and started rummaging in his drawers, eventually pulling out some crumpled clothes which he straightened with a quick charm. He pulled them on quickly, Remus looking away hastily, feeling a blush heat up his cheeks. _Why was he blushing? there was no need for him to blushing…**right?**_

"Err morning Siri" he mumbled, turning so that his back was to him. He felt a weight on the bed, as Sirius sand down next to him

"You alright moony?" he said in what appeared to be genuine concern, but you could rarely ever tell with him.

"Yeah" Remus said cheerfully, though he was so far from cheerful that it was unbelievable. He could feel his heart beating incredibly fast and was surprised that Sirius couldn't hear it pounding. He could feel the heat coming from Sirius's body just next to him, and his breathing grew sharper. What in Merlin's name was wrong with him!

"Okay" Sirius said dubiously, then jumped up, and grinned.

"What are you so happy about? And why in the world are you up so _bloody_ early! We must have had about 4 hours sleep!" Sirius shrugged, still smiling

"Actually it's more like 3 and half hours. But hey I'm not sleepy! I want to get some breakfast then play on my broom! Ooh and I have something that I need to plan. We have to repay Snivellus after that last time" he frowned slightly at the memory. Snape had caught Sirius alone in a corridor, and had used a hex none of them had seen before. Sirius was unconscious for two days. It had been some of the hardest of Remus's life, he hadn't moved from Sirius side unless he really had to, and he hadn't slept for 2 full days. He was so so worried, and he had almost cried with relief when Sirius had woken up again. It was then when he noticed that his feelings for Sirius weren't entirely best friend only. But he wasn't yet sure what they meant. He wasn't gay he couldn't be…could he? And Sirius was renowned for being the most attractive and sought after guy in the entire school, for guys as well as guys, and probably a few teachers if they admitted it. He had so many girlfriends it was unreal.

"Yeah you have fun Siri. Just be careful okay?" there it was again, Remus thought, that flash of emotion that I just can't make sense of. What isn't he telling me, apart from the dreams of course? Sirius laughed slightly

"Aren't I always moony?" Remus just raised his eyes in a very sceptical expression

"Err no Siri. Just don't…" he paused, then carried on, quietly" just don't repeat the episode from a few weeks ago okay? I just don't think that I could…cope" he looked at his hands feeling his face burning, yet again, and wishing he could hide behind a book. He hated the fact that he could blush at the drop of a hat, it was embarrassing, and he seemed to do it more than totally normal around Sirius. There was a silence, then moony felt a hand touch his cheek so softly that he wasn't even sure if he was imagining it. The touch was so tender and full of feeling that he felt his mouth open slightly in shock, and looked into Sirius grey eyes.

"I'm sorry Remus. You understand what its like for me every time after your transformations now?" Remus nodded slowly. Sirius always was the most distraught of the boys when seeing the damage that Remus had managed to do to himself whilst in wolf frown. He seemed to feel guilt over what Remmie went through, even though Remus had told him again and again it wasn't his fault. Sirius smiled sadly, then after gently brushing Remus face with his fingertips he pulled away and the contact was broken.

"Well, I've gotta go. This one will take planning!" he laughed evilly, then bounded out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Remus collapsed back onto his pillows, staring up at the canvas above his head. What was going on! What did Sirius feel? Hell, what were his own feelings? They were best friends, yeah, but why had his heart sped up so much when Sirius had sat next to him? He groaned. He needed to sort this out, hopefully before it drove him insane…if he wasn't already.

He, peter and James made their way down to the great hall a couple of hours later, chatting happily. As they were walking through the doors to the great hall, they saw a flash of red hair. James immediately, almost unconsciously ran a hand through his own black hair, making it stick up at the back and giving it a wind blown look. He also stared to strut slightly, and Remus struggled to keep a straight face.

"Morning Evans" he called, when they got to the Gryffindor table. She glanced up from her friends, her startlingly green eyes projecting quite an impressive glare

"What do you want Potter? "She said exasperated. James grinned

"Just thought that I would mention how beautiful you look this morning. Positively radiant" she rolled her eyes

"Thank you potter, now go tell that to someone who cares. " James clutched the front of his robes melodramatically, but there was real hurt in his hazel eyes

"Charming Evans real nice. But I tell you what; I will stop annoying you if you just go out with me."

"I think the correct word Potter, is stalking. And I have told you so many times that I am NOT interested, I would rather go out with a constipated hippogriff. Now go away before I hex you" James just sighed, and started walking away then, just as he reached where Sirius was sitting when he turned around, an threw his arms out

"No matter how you spurn me I will always love you Lily Evans, forever and always" he blew her kiss, while there was a ripple of applause and laughter from the surrounding tables. James loved to make a spectacle, but not many people knew that he was actually serious, he really did love her. They sank down on the bench, Remus next to Sirius and peter and James opposite them. Sirius looked up from the piece of parchment that he was scribbling on.

"Oh well, better luck next time Jamsie" James stabbed at his bacon with more than a little frustration.

"I should just give up. But I can't…" he sighed then glanced up across at his best friend, obviously trying to distract himself from his depression over lily.

"So what's that? What are you planning Padfoot? Because I know it isn't homework, you **_never_** do homework." Peter looked across at the top of the sheet, and almost chocked.

"Itsactuallyhomework!" he managed to get through, whilst trying to swallow his scrambled eggs. James glanced at him in total confusion. Peter swallowed with great difficulty.

"I said" he gasped out, tears running down his face "that it is actually homework!" They all looked at Sirius in shock. This was the boy who rarely did his homework unless he had to, and if he did, probably the night before it was due.

"Its transfiguration" James agreed in a shocked voice. "That's not due till next week!" He reached across the table, and held his hand to Sirius forehead

"Feeling all that well Sirius?" Sirius who had stayed silent through this exchange shook James's hand off

"I'm Fine. Just figured that I would get it over with. I had nothing else to do, 'cos you lazy sods were lounging around in bed" they knew that Sirius could definitely find someone to talk to, girls followed him everywhere, so that couldn't be it.

"No really, why?" Remus said suspiciously. Was it just him, or was there a faint flush on Sirius's cheeks?

"Well, I don't need another detention from McGonagall, and I will have more time for planning pranks on a certain greasy haired snotball." He smiled happily "I need some help with that Prongs, okay?" James nodded." Oh" he said as almost an afterthought "and I figured that moony might need a break, you know, as he is always helping us…" he trailed off, ignoring the looks that he was getting from the other three.

"Oh" Remus said after a minute or so of silence, in which Sirius squirmed uncharacteristically "thanks Siri, you don't need to do that" Sirius shrugged, and quickly changed the subject.

"Right I have an idea for a prank for April fools!"

"But mate April fool is ages away! We haven't even gotten to Christmas yet"

"Yeah whatever. What do you think about making the lake solid like on top, so that it can be walked on, but like not kill fish and all that?" the boys pondered this.

"Well" James said hesitantly "it _could _be done, but it's a little complicated but…" his face breaking into a large grin "we have along time to work on it…" they started comparing ideas on what to do, and what books to look in. it may be months away, but the marauders were known for spectacular tricks, and this on had to be the best yet. Best to start early! Hogwarts was in for a treat in a couple of month's time!

"Well that Quidditch practice could have been worse" Sirius said chuckling, as they came through the portrait hole, later that day. James turned around with a disbelieving look on his face.

"How!" Sirius winked at a couple of girls going past, and they giggled, whispering to each other as they hurried away. Smiling Sirius turned back to his mud covered friend

"Well at least my good looks are intact" James chuckled in spite of himself, and sank down in one of the comfy armchairs by the fire. Remus was on prefect duty on the fourth corridor, and peter was wherever peter went, so they were the only ones out of the marauders there. A couple of girls waved at Sirius and he blew them a kiss. He had gone out with most of the school at one time or another, but it never lasted long, it just didn't seem to work, Sirius could never find what he was looking for.

James looked over at his friends, as he sat there and fiddled with his buttons, ignoring the girls trying to catch his attention and instead staring into the fire.

"What's up Padfoot?" Sirius looked up startled.

"What? There s nothing wrong, why would you think that there's something wrong?" James chuckled

"Because you're talking like an elf on drugs" Sirius looked vaguely offended for a moment, before collapsing back into his chair

"I…I'll talk to you alter okay Jamsie? But" he gestured around "weren't exactly alone here are we?"

"You will talk to me though right?" Sirius nodded, and turned his gaze back to the fire. If he could avoid that talk he would…how would James react when he found of his best friend might be gay?

_Well what you think? It will develop into a story, I promise, I just need to get this kind of grounding in first! The pranks that Sirius and Snape play on each other is going to be important and it will be interesting considering what happened at the end of their fifth year! The werewolf thing! And you will also find out about Sirius's dream! Slash coming up in a chapter or two's time okay? Now please review, cos the little button is there…you see it, in all of its purple glory! Please review and I might find my supply of cyber chocolate! Thanks! I will update soon! Love ya!_


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